by Sydney Zuiker, Victim Services Committee Chair,
Texas Board of Criminal Justice
The holidays are often described as the most wonderful time of the year—a season filled with family, celebration, and joy. But for victims of violent crime and the families who love them, this time of year can magnify the pain of loss, the weight of trauma, and the emptiness of what once was.
As we move through this season, it’s important for all of us—advocates, service providers, and community members—to remember that healing is not linear. Grief does not pause because the calendar turns to December. The lights may sparkle, but for many, the season can feel dim.
For many victims and surviving families, the first holiday season after victimization is one of the most difficult milestones in their journey. Familiar songs, family gatherings, and long-held traditions can trigger waves of sadness or anger. Something as simple as an ornament, a family recipe, or a favorite tradition may suddenly carry unbearable weight.
I recently spoke with a mother who lost her teenage son in a violent crime just months before Christmas a couple of years ago. That December, she couldn’t bear to open the box of ornaments or hang the stockings. Everything felt too heavy, too final. But her daughter gently convinced her to decorate just one corner of the house—a single star and a small wreath by the window. In time, that small act became her way of honoring her son’s life each year.
Her story reflects what so many survivors experience: the delicate balance between remembrance and survival. The first holiday season may feel impossible, but within that impossibility, moments of grace can emerge. Healing often begins with small steps—one light lit, one memory shared, one breath taken at a time.
For those of us privileged to work in victim services, the holidays call us to be both steady anchors and gentle companions. We may not be able to erase the pain, but we can walk beside survivors through it.
Listen without judgment. Acknowledge anniversaries and loved ones by name. Offer presence, not pressure. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is simply sit in the quiet with someone who is hurting and remind them that they are not forgotten.
Across Texas, I continue to be inspired by the strength and resilience of victims and survivors. Many have turned their pain into purpose by advocating for change, mentoring others, and lighting the way forward for those still in the dark. Their courage reminds us that even after unimaginable harm, hope can grow.
If you are a victim or survivor facing your first holiday season after loss or trauma, or your 20th season after loss or trauma, know that it’s okay to step back, to feel conflicted, and to move at your own pace. There is no timeline for learning to live with loss or trauma, and no single path forward. Across this state, a network of advocates, counselors, and survivors stands ready to help carry the weight with you.
From all of us in the victim services community, may this season bring moments of comfort, the warmth of remembrance, and the quiet promise of new beginnings.
